What the Grey Geese Taught Me About a Real Mastermind

In 2012, I was asked to join a small group of young leaders.

I was still working at my former company. Every one of us held a similar leadership position at the time.

On paper, they called it a national study group.

In reality, it was a small mastermind.

There were six of us, and we called ourselves the Grey Geese.

I know. That seems like an odd name. Why not "The Lions" or something really tough?

I thought the same thing . . . until I learned about the leadership lessons we can learn from geese.

Geese fly together. They share a common goal and direction.

Geese rotate roles. They encourage the leader and empower others to lead.

Geese are noisy. They recognize and support each other.

And geese don't leave another goose behind. If one falls out of formation because of injury or illness, one or two others stay with that goose until it is healed or gone.

Those were principles I could get behind. I am still proud of that name.

What I didn't know in 2012 was how much I would need that last lesson.

A Real Peer Group Flies in the Same Direction

Here is how the Grey Geese worked.

Every other month, we got on a call or a Zoom and reported our progress, personally and professionally. We asked each other for feedback on whatever was going on in our worlds.

Once a year, we flew or drove somewhere for a short retreat. We went deep on family health, physical health, and business health.

That was it. No fancy curriculum. No stage. No name badges.

Just six men pointed in the same direction, telling the truth about where they actually were.

What started as a business growth group turned into something much bigger. Over the years, we became like brothers. Those men pushed me to be a better man of God, a better husband, a better father, and a better leader.

Notice the order there.

The business was the reason we got together. It was never the only thing we talked about.

That is the first mark of a real peer group. Everyone is headed somewhere, and everyone is willing to say out loud where they are falling short of getting there.

A group without a shared direction turns into a social club. Nice people. Good coffee. Nobody changes.

Real Friends Tell You What You Need to Hear

There is a hard truth in The Kairos Code that some people push back on.

A lot of the people you call friends are not really your friends.

They're along for the ride.

They show up when it's convenient. They show up when it's fun. They show up when you're successful and have something to offer them.

I learned that the hard way.

When I was at the top of the mountain, some people wanted a relationship with me because of what I could do for them. When I was knocked off that mountain, I got a very clear reality check on who was a real friend and who wasn't.

The Grey Geese were never confused about that.

We gave each other tough feedback. Honest feedback. The kind you don't always want to hear when you'd rather talk about your wins.

A real friend tells you what you need to hear, NOT what you want to hear.

The friend who tells you everything is okay and you're perfect the way you are? That friend wants you to stay the same for their own comfort. If you change, they might have to look at the places they aren't living up to their own potential.

Proverbs 27:17 says, "Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

Sharpening involves friction. If nobody in your peer group ever makes you uncomfortable, nobody is sharpening anything.

I see the same thing in my men's group today. It's a group of about fifty entrepreneurial men from around the country, led by Pastor Anthony Hart out of Virginia. We call ourselves Warriors for Christ, and we meet weekly to talk about life, marriage, parenting, grief, successes, failures, and the Bible.

We have a spoken rule. If we see someone slipping in their walk with God, it's on one of us to call it out.

Not with guilt. Not with shame.

With a simple message: "I love you and respect you too much to watch you go down this path."

That is what accountability sounds like when it's built on love.

The Group Shows Its Worth When You Fall Out of Formation

The Grey Geese were there for me when I was appointed Managing Partner.

That was the easy part. Everyone shows up for the mountaintop.

The real test came in 2021.

The lawsuit was served in April. On June 16, I was removed as Managing Partner. The business I had poured myself into was ripped away from me.

I fell out of formation.

And those men did exactly what geese do. They didn't fly on without me. They stayed.

They saw me at my best. They saw me at my worst. They never wavered in their love and support.

I will always be grateful to Adam Cox, Matt Rewasiewicz, Michael Brownlow, Kalvin Grabau-Keele, and Jordan Montgomery for that.

Here is what I learned in that season.

Your real friends are there for you when you have nothing to offer them.

Your real friends are there for you when you're so far in the pit that you're kind of a drag to be around.

Your real friends refuse to let you stay in the pit.

They speak truth into your doubts and insecurities. They get you help when it's something they can't provide themselves. They bring their time, talent, and treasure to your doorstep.

When I think about what a mastermind is really for, I keep coming back to that.

Yes, a strong group helps you make better decisions. Yes, it sharpens your strategy. Yes, it holds you to the commitments you made last time.

But the deepest value shows up when life knocks you sideways and you need people who already know the whole story.

You can't build that in a crisis. You build it in the ordinary months, one honest conversation at a time, long before you need it.

Isolation Is the Most Dangerous Place a Leader Can Stand

God created us to be communal beings.

We don't thrive alone. We don't grow alone.

Proverbs warns that the one who isolates himself breaks out against all sound judgment.

Here is the problem for leaders. Isolation rarely looks like isolation.

It looks like being busy.

It looks like being the one everyone else comes to for answers.

It looks like keeping the hard stuff to yourself because you don't want to look weak in front of your team.

When you're the boss, a lot of people around you are friendly for reasons that have nothing to do with friendship. They may think being close to you helps their career. They may not feel safe telling you the truth.

So you stop hearing it.

That is exactly why I believe every owner and executive needs a group of peers who have nothing to gain by flattering them.

In The Kairos Code, I wrote that you need to be intentional about the associations you place in your professional environment: mentors, coaches, peers, and masterminds.

Each one does a different job. A mentor shows you the road. A coach helps you work the plan. Peers and a mastermind tell you the truth about how you're actually driving.

I also wrote that you are the sum of the books you read and the five people you spend the most time with.

Who are your five? And would any of them stay behind if you fell out of formation?

What I Want Every Bridge Builder Group to Be

When I lead Bridge Builder Mastermind today, I'm still trying to give leaders what the Grey Geese gave me.

It's a small, application-only peer group for business owners and executives in the Madison area and south-central Wisconsin. Members bring real, unresolved decisions. They leave with a clear next step. And the group holds them accountable to it.

It isn't for everyone.

If you're looking for a networking or referral group, it won't be a fit.

If you want frameworks without action, it won't be a fit.

If you don't have the authority to implement your decisions, it won't be a fit.

I'm looking for leaders who want to fly in formation. Leaders who will give tough feedback and take it. Leaders who will stay behind when someone else goes down.

Because that is what changed my life.

Six men who told me the truth and refused to leave me in the pit.

Lesson: Find the people who will stay with you when you fall out of formation, and be that person for them first.

So let me ask you.

If your life got knocked sideways tomorrow, who would stay?

## Action Items From Today 1. Write down the names of the five people you spend the most time with. Next to each one, note whether they tell you what you need to hear or what you want to hear. 2. Identify one area of your life, personal or professional, where you have been keeping the hard truth to yourself. Choose one trusted person to tell this week. 3. Ask a peer you respect for one piece of honest feedback on your leadership, and listen without defending yourself. 4. Look at your calendar for the last 30 days and count how many hours you spent with peers who sharpen you. Schedule one of those conversations for the next two weeks. 5. Think of one friend who has gone quiet or pulled away lately. Reach out to them today. 6. Decide what you want from a peer group in the next year, and write down three standards a group would have to meet to earn your time.

Five Bridges Challenges

Spiritual Bridge: Find or recommit to a group that will call you out, in love, when you start slipping in your walk with God.

Relationships Bridge: Tell one friend who stayed with you through a hard season exactly what that meant to you.

Environment Bridge: Audit the mentors, coaches, peers, and groups in your professional life, and name the one association that is missing.

If you're a business owner or executive in the Madison area and you want a small group of leaders who will tell you the truth, explore Bridge Builder Mastermind. For a clear read on where your leadership stands across all five bridges, take the LQ Assessment. And for the full Grey Geese story, read The Kairos Code.

Inspire & Impact,

Josh