Your Family Is the Starting Line of Your Legacy

I was 15 years old the first time I can remember going to a funeral.

A good friend of mine had died in a car accident.

I will never forget that day. I will never forget the pain on his parents' faces. All of his hopes and dreams for the future, and all of their hopes and dreams for him, were gone in an instant.

Years later, as a financial advisor, I sat on the other side of that kind of loss again and again.

I helped hundreds of families plan for their futures and prepare for the worst. And sometimes the worst came early. I delivered death claim checks to a thirty-four-year-old widow with two young children. I delivered them to the parents of a twenty-six-year-old. I delivered them for a child who was only two.

Every one of those experiences left a mark on me.

I got to hear from the people left behind. Their grief. The plans they had. The memories they were holding on to.

In those moments, what had been left behind mattered very little.

Anyone in that kind of grief would give the money and possessions back for one more day. One more hug. One more "I love you."

Legacy Is Being Built Today

In The Kairos Code, I wrote this line.

Legacy is NOT what we leave behind. Legacy is what we leave IN people.

We tend to treat legacy like something far away. A will. An estate plan. A speech someone gives about us decades from now.

We all know any moment could be our last. We just don't believe it.

So we don't act in each moment with the intention it deserves.

There is one statistic we all like to ignore. The human mortality rate is 100 percent.

None of us are getting out of this alive.

Your legacy is being written in every action you take and every action you don't take. Every interaction. Every decision. Every moment at the dinner table. Every conversation in the office.

The story of your life is being written right now . . . today.

Sunday is a good day to sit with that.

Your Family Is the Starting Line

Ask a leader why they work so hard, and you will often hear the same answer.

"My family."

It sounds noble. It sounds like the right answer.

I used to accept that answer from my own advisors and employees. I can't do it anymore.

Here is why.

If your family is truly the deepest reason you get out of bed, think about how many times you have let them down by not hitting the goals you said mattered. Think about the daily priorities that never got done, and the guilt and stress that came home with you afterward.

At best, you weren't present.

At worst, your family paid for it.

So I push on this answer. Hard.

You say your family is your purpose, but you aren't taking care of your body.

You say your family is your purpose, but you haven't spoken to God in months.

You say your family is your purpose, but you won't put down your phone when you walk in the door.

Here is my premise. Your family is the bare minimum.

Your husband or wife bet on YOU. When they said yes, they said yes to all of you. Your dreams, your baggage, all of it. Providing for them, creating a healthy home, and raising your kids with the right values is the baseline.

It is the starting block. It is the starting line for ALL of us.

I know you would die for your kids.

Would you live for them?

Your Gifts Were Given to You for a Reason

Once the family answer is treated as the baseline, a bigger question opens up.

What did God put in you, and only you?

I believe one of our primary goals in life is to discover our God-given gifts. Once we find them, our job is to see how far we can take them and give them back to the world in the service of others.

Mark Twain said, "The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why."

Don't believe gifts are that specific?

Look at your siblings. Or look at your kids, if you have them.

Same parents. Same DNA. Completely different people.

I see it in my own four kids. They all came from Jenna and me, and every one of them has a different personality, different interests, and different quirks. As they grow up, I fully expect them to choose different paths based on their gifts.

The same is true for you.

Dan Sullivan, the founder of Strategic Coach, uses the term Unique Ability. It is the work you love to do and are uniquely gifted to do. It goes past the work you kind of like and are kind of good at.

You might be excellent at something you don't love. That alone doesn't make it your gift.

It is the combination of love and excellence that points to your gifts. Those are the gifts God gave you, and I believe you have an obligation to serve the world with them.

That service is what you leave IN people.

Listen First, Then Move

If you can't name your God-given purpose right now, that's okay.

These things take time.

In the book I wrote that our dreams lie in the whispers. They don't come blasting through a foghorn.

So the first question is simple. Are you taking time to listen?

When is your quiet time alone with God? If you don't have any, create that space. Ask Him one question: What do you want me to know today?

Then sit in it.

The second step is just as important.

Move.

Don't sit around waiting for a lightning bolt. Keep moving in the direction you believe you are supposed to go. If God has a different path, He will course correct you.

I know that from experience.

I was 100 percent sure I was on the right track when I was running my financial firm. I was waking up on fire. I was inspiring and impacting people inside my firm and in our communities.

Then came June 16, 2021.

As I wrote in The Kairos Code, it was the morning God said, "Josh, I have a different path for you, and I need you to trust me."

That was painful. I trusted anyway. And I wouldn't trade the life I'm living now to go back.

The vision God gives you is almost always bigger and better than the one you started with.

The Legacy Bridge Comes Last for a Reason

In the Five Bridges framework, the order is Spiritual, Internal, Relationships, Environment, and Legacy.

The Legacy Bridge is last on purpose.

I believe we only leave an amazing legacy IF we get the order of the first four Bridges right.

A strong Spiritual Bridge helps you hear the whispers.

A strong Internal Bridge gives you the discipline to keep moving when the path is unclear.

A strong Relationships Bridge means the people closest to you get your best. Our loved ones don't deserve our scraps while our business world gets the filet mignon.

A strong Environment Bridge surrounds you with people and systems that call out your gifts.

Then legacy takes care of itself, one day at a time.

So here is the question I want you to carry into this week.

If today were the day someone had to tell your story, what would the people closest to you say you left in them?

Lesson: Treat your family as the starting line, then go find the gifts God put in you and give them away.

## Action Items From Today 1. Write down your honest answer to the question "Why do I work this hard?" Then write the answer you would give if family were the baseline instead of the finish line. 2. List three gifts you believe God gave you. Next to each one, mark whether you love the work, are excellent at it, or both. 3. Schedule ten minutes of quiet time each morning this week and ask, "What do you want me to know today?" Write down what comes up. 4. Pick one of the "You say your family is your purpose, but . . ." lines from this article that hits closest to home, and choose one action this week that closes the gap. 5. Ask your spouse or a trusted friend which of your gifts they see you using least, and listen without defending yourself. 6. Write one sentence describing what you want the people closest to you to say you left in them. Put it somewhere you will see it every morning.

Five Bridges Challenges

Spiritual Bridge: Protect a daily quiet time with God this week and ask Him about the gifts He put in you, not only the problems on your desk.

Relationships Bridge: Give your spouse and kids your best energy at least three nights this week by setting your phone down the moment you walk in the door.

Legacy Bridge: Name one person you can pour into this month using one of your gifts, and put the first conversation on your calendar today.

If you want a clear read on where your leadership stands today, take the LQ Assessment. If you want a peer group of leaders working on the same questions, explore Bridge Builder Mastermind. For the full story behind the Five Bridges, read The Kairos Code.

Inspire & Impact,

Josh